So, we decided to do what any born and bred suburbanite would do; transplant the surviving lettuce into containers disguised as decorative planters - complete with flowers.

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So here in suburb - town I was having one hulluva time hold on the bird from tearing aside my kale folio - from - leafage . While they had never get to any of my greens before , like I always say , “ It ’s just a issue of discovery ” .

I have spent years blindly consider that my baseless bird friends were just too well behaved – nay , toospoiledto even deal attacking my produce . That would be low-down even for the scrub jay who get blame for everything ( and confront it – it ’s commonly for good reason ) .

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Of course , it was n’t the scrubbing jays this fourth dimension , but we did see little sparrows with tell - tale bits of Brassica oleracea italica leaves in their beaks . That ’s my thanks for yr of thrifty bush and Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree pick so that the wildlife would have what they needed . Did they go so far as to eat my heirloom lettuce , too ? I have no proof , but some little critter is bear a clump torturing me and my newly set start ( which I coddled from seeds , I might add ) .

So we decided to do what any born and breed suburbanite would do ; transfer the surviving lettuce into container desguised as decorative plantation owner – complete with flowers . Not only did they turn out looking endearing , but the hanger are out front for all the world to see . I like that because most of my neighbors have never even understand lettuce except for with their heads discerp off in a grocery garden truck ledge .

I like to think of my vegetable planter as my “ gateway drug ” for the neighborhood . presently , I ’ll have all of the neighbors tucking lettuce in here , carrots in there , and kohlrabi next to the Japanese maple . Oh wait … yuck . Okay , Kohlrabi in the repeated bed .

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It ’s all in my sinister plan to transmute suburbia into minuscule micro - farms .

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I have successfully tricked the birds with the old lettuce-in-the-hanging-flower-basket trick.Photo/Illustration: Chris McLaughlin

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