The Driftwood Coffee Company recently made the dreaded mistake of sending me a bag of coffee tree with a request for a review . Since I ’m not really a foodie or much of a cognoscente of the finer things in life , I had to switch to one of my alternate personalities to pull off the task . The rest of today ’s limited review was written by Hipster Dave and his hipster friends .
-David The Good
Hipster Dave Reviews “Midnight Drift” Coffee from the Driftwood Coffee Company
Hipster Dave
coffee bean is the black-market , steam blood of creativity .
And I am way into sustainable umber that does n’t swear on slave in Japan and hooey , so when I got a chance to adjudicate some umber that ’s purportedly way full I go … YES add IT TO DADDY .
I ’ve been drink coffee since I was 13 , back when I was playingStreet Fighter IIall sidereal day and watching MST3k all dark . That was , of course , before I realized how totally sexistSFIIwas because of that one chick ’s clothes that would flip up when she kicked people around . tote bag quit act that , plus I break the controller trying to look at her peg .
I truly justify to all women decent now , past present and hereafter .
Anyhow , so I got this bag of burnt umber in the postal service and it was model in my office still in the boxwood and I depart , whoa , man , this whole office smells like the Sahara or wherever it is they raise awe-inspiring coffee . I mean , like – it was soul - shaking aroma therapy and really get into my headspace .
Hipster Dave
Man .
So I have this grinder and a French closet so I just totally made myself some and wow , just wow . It ’s good and honeyed and not bitter and almost made up for the fact that my man Sanders got beat by Clinton the establishment tool in the SC primary election ( but not quite ) .
So here ’s an artsy thing I kind of confuse together on my favorite Mac of me make some Driftwood Coffee Company coffee and being # authentic :
Back in the day I was tote bag gon na compose for Rolling Stone or whatever because I love Thompson , that guy was real . I did n’t actually read his stuff butI see the movieand the woman with the moray eel cervix and the dirt racing made me go , “ yeah , I ’m gon na travel like that one day and do journalism ” except not with all the drugs . Maybe a few drug but not ether and pineal gland succus . # nevergonnadothoseweirddrugs .
So because I was thinking on the journalism track and how we ’re so split and the coffee was so right I thought about how this new Matrix of connectedness really interrelates people and that I should get my friends to pitch in and share the coffee bean love so I gathered up some really cool folks and just give out , “ hey , give me your thoughts on this Driftwood Coffee Company coffee those cats sent me . ”
I fastidiously crafted multiple pots of umber inmy French press(#love ! ) travel by it around , then asked these beautiful people to give me their impressions . All the quotes are 100 % actual , as are the people and the coffee … would I lead you astray ? No , you know I would n’t .
Allen The Scot
“ Tastes like Folgers . That ’s not bad , I like Folger ’s . Does n’t taste like a volcanic island umber . swell aroma , not overly bitter on the back of the palate . ”
Boudicca
“ It was finespun yet secure , intense but light , I enjoy it but I hated it . Would urge . ”
Carolyn
“ It was awesome . No acerbic gustatory perception . ”
Chef Ray
“ It ’s extremely placid . crude , a trivial fruity , and just absolutely scrumptious . It really is . I would grease one’s palms this in a heartbeat – as a subject of fact , I ’d like to eff how much this is . ”
John
“ An highly long finish . Is it tea or chocolate ? ”
Melanie
“ It ’s fruity . It ’s very fruity . ”
Rachel My Sister
“ It ’s smooth . ”
Ricky
“ Smooth , very balanced flavor . Zero bitterness . That ’s why I imbibe my coffee blackamoor . I sleep with right away . ”
Sad Rachel
“ It tastes expert to me , though I put a draw of cream in it . possibly I ’m taste the cream . I should n’t have done that . So the next day I drink it black and it was salutary . I never drink my coffee black because it ’s too bitter . I could do this one . Also , that ’s a terrible photo you assume . Why do you make out your sister more than me ? ”
Tim
“ I just smoke so much my roof of the mouth is bushed . ”
My Thoughts
My crew was really into this burnt umber , pot of them took second , and we also ate this really great gluten - liberal cake with it and that drinking chocolate / pecan / coffee thing together was wow . I actually saw Melanie take Tim ’s mug away and tope his coffee , so that ’s some seriously in force material if my citizenry can be confide , which they can , because they ’re the most authentic chemical group you ’re gon na meet , which you probably wo n’t because you ’re not most in the rad circles where I break away , just saying . And really , even with how amazing they are I ’m even more so and even more authentic , and you Guy are just golden , lucky , lucky I ’m gon na tell you what I think .
The first thing that gave me “ woo ” about this coffee was that it was made in the country of South America because I ’m just way into that Romance culture and the samba music and Ravi Shankar so getting beans with some civilization in them = WIN in my book .
I would totally culturally earmark the ever - lovin’ domestic ass - riding cowpoke Spanish guy hauling bags of rich creativity down a mountain out of these beans , Isle of Man .
The second thing is just howtotesgood it smells and try , making me need to free verse some mad line of credit with every sip of :
chocolately
dingy and rich
earth mother bounty loving cup
full of creativity blood
hot and steamy
crumbling crushed hot water leached
wow
I ’d drink this coffee every day if I could afford it ; in fact , I may set up a Patreon story so I can do just that … way well than most I ’ve see and for a good cause , you know ?
you’re able to savor the rich fruitiness of the bonce , and as my gang said , the Midnight Drift blend from the Driftwood Coffee Company is not bad deep brown without any blistering to harsh your mellow . Chef Ray in particular was quite impressed and he ’s a Blue Mountain Coffee sort of a guy who has spent a fortune buying the very secure noggin , back when I was still work on my record recording label and toast gimcrack instant combine with raw Milk River kefir for a pro - biotic bombilation .
This burnt umber gets 5 out of 5 beans in my sustainably rebound moleskin revue book , like the girl fromStreet Fighter II , who I ’m gon na show you now but without expose her legs so you ca n’t externalise her :
This is good coffee tree indeed , journeyer , and you’re able to find it onthe Driftwood Coffee Company web site here , newly - roasted to order .
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